


the end of everything (and the start of nothing)

by gaygoroakechi



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Eating Disorder(s), Goro-centric, Implied Physical Abuse, Other, Overdose, Royal Spoilers, Self Harm, Self Loathing, Suicide, akira and shido are mentioned, no beta (obviously), vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:49:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25743118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaygoroakechi/pseuds/gaygoroakechi
Summary: don't look at me this was a vent lol <33 if you read this im sorry i probs wont respond to this one since its so personal and i wrote this at 12:21 am after throwing up twice
Kudos: 19





	the end of everything (and the start of nothing)

**Author's Note:**

> read tags before reading please

Goro was melting. He knew full well that his plan had failed, knew that everything he had done and worked for in life had been for nothing. 

He'd always known he'd end up following in his mother's footsteps. 

His throat felt raw, angry from being forced to vomit over and over. Goro hadn't had a full three meals in days, and if he did, it was because he was forced to do so under the watchful eye of his advisors. He was broken down to his core, irredeemable. 

Shido had won. Kurusu and his fucking band of criminals had won. Everyone, every single person who had held him down under their boot, crushing his freedom like an ant had won. And Goro? Well, Goro had simply lost. Everyone knew what happened when it was game over. He had played each and every one of his cards, gambled, and bet his life only to lose all his earnings in the end. 

He felt fucking manic. Over the moon, even. This wasn't hard in the slightest. After all, nobody really cared about Goro - they only saw his bullshit happy-go-lucky detective persona, and drank the scam up like it was warm milk. Kurusu, fucking Kurusu was the only one who had come close to really seeing Goro. It was pathetic.

Goro's stomach clenched again in a familiar wave of nausea, forcing him to double over in agony. It happened all the time, but it still was hell to go through. But at least this would be the last time! Goro felt giddy with the knowledge that he had control over even such a trivial thing as deciding whether he should live or die. 

He had done his research. Like everything he did, he made sure to tie up all loose ends, to prepare it as much as possible and in a way that he wouldn't be interrupted or 'rescued.' That would be a fate worse than death.

Goro stumbled to the bathroom, and turned on the tub with shaky, pale hands. It wasn't really necessary for his method, but at least when he seized out of consciousness he would be comfortable in hot water.

The coverage of his death would be nonexistent, Goro knew. Shido would make sure of that. Perhaps Kurusu could figure out what happened to him - he certainly was smart enough to put two and two together. But fuck, would he even care, after all Goro had done to him? 

Goro hoped not. It would be easier that way. 

He sucked in a deep breath, ribs aching from his bruises, and re-ran through his mental checklist. Doors? Locked. Cameras? Disabled. Pager? He had gotten a rare day off due to Shido's clusterfuck. Everything was ready.

Goro slipped out of his slacks, and stared at his bared thighs in the mirror. The running water filled the background as he traced his recent cuts and faded scars. How ugly he was. Damaged. Filthy. 

He reached for the pill bottle and Icebreakers tin filled with extra 'provisions' (more pills) on the counter, and shook out the contents of each container briskly. Goro filled the glass cup up determinedly, knowing full well what would come next. 

He held the pills in his hand, and popped them in over and over. God, this took a while. He exhaled, and finished the tin off. The pill bottle didn't have much, but it was better safe than sorry, so he took that too.

The wooziness began to set in, so Goro slid into the bathtub. The warm water ached against his wounded thighs, enveloping him in a bittersweet caress. He closed his eyes and smiled softly.

In an odd way, he felt closer to his mother now than he ever had in his entire life.


End file.
